Through pine groves and oat fields, amongst elk and woodland lakes – a deer is passing by with three small fawns on a leash. She has recently become a mother and is trying to adjust to her new role. She is nature, this is her land but still she can’t shake the feeling of a slowly growing panic and the emptiness of being an outsider. Meanwhile, in a parallel world, we hear her thoughts about family norms, breeding and fear. In this white room she claims her right to be heard which was not possible in the woods – a space where she is allowed to ask questions.

What do you do when the fear of never being left alone is stronger than the fear of being left behind? What is the punishment for not loving your child? What happens if the biological clock never starts ticking and tells you that it’s time? Will I end up alone?

The deer is my mirror image and in a costume made of synthetic fur, I ask where the longing for a child comes from, if it’s natural and why it has not come to me.